« Books on the Bus | Main | Lobstergirl Writes A Slightly Rude Email to Richard Roeper »
Dear Neighbor,
I have noticed you have a girlfriend. You can stop reminding me now. I've seen her several times, with and without you. We have had a few brief but pleasant conversations, and she seems like a lovely woman. She is friendly and upbeat and I tend to smile when I see her.
You have been a little too quick to point out other things about her, and I'd like you to know that further elaboration is unecessary. I don't need her tattoos pointed out to me. They are lovely, and obvious -- highlighting is unwarranted. It takes more than some ink and some riding leathers to turn Clara Barton into Elizabeth Bathory. Non-sequiturs regarding her devious strangeness and modeling career (your glaring finger-quotes serving only to lend innuendo to an otherwise common resume entry) merely reduce her to being an antidote for your middle-management stylings, mid-life crisis and Grant Goodeve helmet.
Cut it out. She doesn't deserve it.
Sincerely,
Your Downstairs Neighbor
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.quellesurprise.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/385
