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Dear Aboubacar,
If you're going to keep slipping these notes under my door, can you PLEASE fucking stop it with the insertion of an apostrophe in an otherwise plural word? Seriously, man, it's freaking me out. Don't ask me to "please return the knife's you borrowed from me last month" or to "try to lay off the cheeba between the hour's of midnight and six a.m." or even your seeming favorite, "why not try some benzodiazepine's the next time you're up all night?" I just can't fucking hack this insane punctufuckingation of which you are so fond.
Oh yeah, and it's "drawer," not "draw." Get it straight next time, Aboubacar, or you are in for a whole lot of post-garlic-lamb-burger farts wafting through your bathroom vents. Capiche?
xoxo,
Gogol
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Unsolicited Confessions by Erin BlackSomeone with more seniority than me has been displaced from her desk because the person who makes these decisions likes me more. I would feel bad about this, but the displaced person is constantly misusing words and therefore clearly deserves every bad thing that ever happens to her.
