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Dear Amy:
Thanks for the great idea - a Marshmallowtini. I'm on it, sister.
Things here at the Betty Ford Clinic have slowed down a little since Patrick Kennedy left, all "cured" and ready to take up the people's business again. I think Betty Ford has gone into the red after the three beds he broke with Norah O'Donnell, Chris Hitchens and Tucker Carlson. Apparently people of all persuasions find his strawberry blond moptop irresistible, or else they're just stealing his penile effluvia for blackmail later.
Gotta run - I'm supposed to be in the welcoming party for Tony Blankley. He just pulled up in his Lincoln Navigator, which is towing his Escalade. Guess he must've gotten his kid to breathe into the ignition, since he ran over Kirk Cameron trying to parallel park those fuckers. Kirk was supposed to be ministering to us in preparation for missionary work in Chad - so much for that! (I had no idea they had substance abuse problems over there.)
Fondly,
Your Derrière
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